Something Magic This Way Comes by Martin H Greenberg (ed) & Sarah A. Hoyt (ed)

Author:Martin H Greenberg (ed) & Sarah A. Hoyt (ed)
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Science Fiction/Fantasy
Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Published: 2008-05-19T22:00:00+00:00

THE FLOOD WAS FIXED

Eric Flint

“STILL sore about Job, huh?” snickered Baalzebub.

The Prince of Darkness took a swipe at the archdevil with his tail, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“It was a fluke,” he grumbled. “A statistical freak. So what if God found one faithful man in a sea of sinners? I should have played the odds.”

“How?”

“I should have bet Him on the whole lousy human race.”

Baalzebub shook his head. “God never would have gone for it. Too much work, visiting personal suffering on all those people. He’s lazy, when you get right down to it. Worked six lousy days and thinks He ought to be able to lounge around the rest of eternity. Coupon clipper. We proletarian types down here never get a day off.”

Satan glowered about the stygian gloom of Hell.

He’d gotten tired of Dante’s Renaissance decor lately, so he’d gone back to Classic. Even the reek of brimstone and the screams of tortured sinners didn’t cheer him up.

“I know, I know. That’s why I agreed to bet on Job. I got taken to the cleaners.”

Baalzebub hesitated. Not for the first time, the thought crossed his mind that being chief adviser to the Lord of Evil was not without its drawbacks.

“Maybe you should quit gambling with—”

He ducked Satan’s pitchfork and dived behind a smoldering rock.

“He’s God, dammit! You can’t win. The house odds will get you every time.”

But Satan wasn’t willing to listen to reason. He never was, which (when you get right down to it) is why he’s the Prince of Darkness instead of the Lord of Light.

“There’s gotta be a way to beat Him,” he snarled, after resuming his seat. “All I’ve got to do is figure out a way to get Him to bet on the whole miserable human race.”

He cackled, rubbing his taloned paws. “Any bet on the whole bunch, I’m bound to win!”

Deciding it was safe, Baalzebub resumed his seat.

“Yeah, sure, no question about it. But it’s like I said—He’s a cloud potato. Hates to work up a sweat.”

Satan slouched and stared at his cloven hooves gloomily. Suddenly, he sat up straight.

“I’ve got it! I’ve got it! I’ll bet Him the human race will lose its faith in Creation!”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you see? He’s got such a swelled head over that Genesis business that he won’t be able to resist.”

Baalzebub scratched his horns.

“I still don’t get it. Of course He’ll bet on it. Why shouldn’t He? He’s bound to win. I mean, look at the thing!”

And so saying, Baalzebub exerted his archdevilish powers and brought before the superhuman vision of the Lord of Flies the entire vista of Creation, in all its glory and splendor.

“You see what I mean? Even creatures as stupid as humans aren’t going to doubt for a minute that something this grand was created by a Creator. How else could it have come to be? Even a moron examining a watch is going to figure out that it took a watchmaker to—”

“Will you shut up about the stupid watch? I’m sick of hearing it!”

Satan hawked up a lunger and spit on a nearby sinner.

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